Choosing Your Bridges (A Question of Motives and Results)

Once I got it into my head that "I'm grown", able to say and do as I please, it occurred to me that I could also raise my voice and be heard, or stand up and be recognized, or both, if the inclination so struck me. I decided that I would not be the pushover who ruled my childhood and adolescence, even developing a few passive-aggressive tendencies along the way. (Every super hero has her weaknesses, right?) These tendencies have their down side, certainly, but what tools! Kind of like Wonder Woman's lasso of truth or bulletproof bracelets. You know, just something you use in a pinch, but can also be used against you, or even on you.
Some of us remember the episode of Wonder Woman when the villains wrapped her in her lasso and forced her divulge the location of Paradise Island. Whew! What a mess that almost was. Okay, so I'm no Wonder Woman, by any stretch of the imagination, but just like anyone else, I sometimes forget or neglect my own strength and the possible damage it can do.
When provoked, I consider myself a master of words weaponry, but it's not always easy to control. I expect that's the only super power I'll ever get, so I best harness it.
We all have the power to pick battles with our words, and burn bridges with our actions or lacks thereof. These are conscious decisions that will yield definite results. Sometimes the results are not those we hope or intend. There are some bridges that need burning, some battles that need to be picked. I am constantly aware that I must be selective in these tasks. And considering that the world seems to be getting ever smaller, and how it seems to turn on a wheel, i.e., what goes around comes around, the task of battle picking and bridge burning requires much more thought than the split second it takes to jump on the bandwagon to nowhere or to get pissed off and protect my pride.
Before picking my battles, I'd do well to consider my motives and the possible results. The motive questions are these: What's the real damage that I'm causing or preventing? What's the real benefit that I'm cultivating or stifling? Am I using my energy wisely or just feeding my own arrogance? The results questions are these: Will this action soil reputations, malign records, or cause some irreparable damage, and is that my intent? Will my intentions help me or come back to haunt me? Will the battle I pick now burn a bridge that I may later need to cross?
Answering these questions helps me make well-informed, even if not wise choices. Will I, or someone else lose life, limb, or livelihood if I do or don't do this thing? Maybe I'm picking a fight or severing ties to preserve my sanity, promote my own good health or ensure someone else's safety. Or maybe I'm just needling at someone or something because it amuses me, and the only thing at stake is pride or bragging rights. I have to know and really consider the answers before I act.
Am I sure that I'll never need to cross this way again? Do I really want to slap that security guard who asked for my identification to enter the building where I work? Maybe he should recognize me. Maybe he's new here. Maybe he even deserves it. But is it worth it? He may need to escort me to my car or help me hail a taxi one day. Do I really want to turn this thing into a media circus, play the race card, and risk my own constituents calling me pretentious?
George Wallace, a now infamous former governor of Alabama, once presumed to lock students out of the University of Alabama, and was quoted as saying, "Segregation Today. Segregation Tomorrow. Segregation Forever!", among many other ill-chosen, ill-advised or ignorant remarks. Sometime later, Wallace was shot and paralyzed, and required care and assisted living from people of the very race for whom he had demonstrated such contempt. Sure, that's an extreme case of poor bridge selection, and a heaping dose of irony to boot, but that's the battle he picked, and I'm sure it seemed like a good idea at the time; but don't they all?
The short answer is this: If there is any chance that your decision will come back to harm you more than help you, hold the match and save the bridge. There will be plenty of other opportunities to be the mouse that roared. Or not.