A Healthy Dose of Controversy

Sometimes I just feel like being disagreeable. Of course, I'd rather have a valid reason, such as, I genuinely believe that something is wrong, or someone's an idiot. But other times, it just comes down to my own self indulgence, like early in the morning, when all I have to do is get out of bed before I'm ready. When I can find no other reason to be disagreeable, it's a sure thing that sleep deprivation takes the blame.
Whenever possible, I try to give others the courtesy of prefacing my disgruntled, unpleasant disposition with something like, "Such-and-such-a-thing just happened, and I don't like it, and here's what I think ought to happen,", or "So-and-so is an ass without a clue, and I'd rather not work with him/her", or "Please don't talk to me, right now. I'm so not a morning person." It's beats the alternative, "How about a nice glass of shut the hell up!", doesn't it? I believe in the fair warning thing, you know?
Whatever the reasons or circumstances, I know it's just got to come out. I reason with myself that I didn't raise enough hell as a child, always the good seed, the goody-two-shoes of the family. Mind you, I'm not talking about missing out on that Nanny 911 child hellion foolishness, which by the way, I'm convinced is staged for T.V. and ratings. (No child is that damned bad.) But I was just your garden variety, too good for my own good type of kid, compliant, even when I disagreed; the one who never got into a scuffle on the playground, or rarely objected when someone cut in the lunch line, stubbied up my crayons, ate my dessert or drank my Kool-aid.
But when I consider the venting and debate swirling about everything from popularity, to people in power, to politics, to pop culture, to the politics of pop culture, to the pop culture of politics, I tell myself that it's all relative. Consider these examples: I know I'm not the only one who wonders why the heck Paris Hilton is so intriguing for no good reason. She's rich. She's cute. Her grandfather was once married to Elizabeth Taylor. Her mom had a recurring role on Family Affair. Why do I know all this? Hell, she intrigues me, and it bugs me to death. When did Lionel Richie's daughter grow up, and why are she and Lindsay Lohan so skinny? How and when did Sean Penn become such a stick-in-the-mud? (Didn't we love him as Spicoli?) Why doesn't somebody tell Britney Spears to stop frequenting public bathrooms in her bare feet?
I don't know why Oprah has so much power, but I'm enthralled by it, even pleased, though it drives others mad. And who can tell me why Tom Cruise and Scientology get so much press coverage? Are there any poor people who are Scientologists? Are they even allowed in? Is there an application for it? Did anybody see Condi Rice's new hairstyle? Is the illegal immigrant work force really the pillar holding up the U.S. economy? Did the CIA plan the Kennedy assassinations or engineer the September 11th tragedies? What about these elusive weapons of mass destruction and allegations of government sanctioned genocide? Is blogging just a passing fad like the dot-com boom? Is the real estate bubble really about to burst? Is someone just scamming us? Why do lottery winners have to pay taxes twice? And why the hell are gas prices going back up? Well, dog gone it, we've all got something to say about any or all of that stuff, and I tell you, it's a good thing we do.
Everybody has a need to take a stand for or against something every now and then. As the saying goes, "stand for something or fall for anything." Why shouldn't we raise our voices with our suspicions? It's a healthy reaction that would ideally be followed by healthy pro-action. (If only.) I believe a healthy dose of controversy wards off ulcers and aneurysms, kind of like that apple that we once believed kept the doctor at bay. Some of us are genuinely ill about a situation, others just like to stir up a batch of arguments for recreational purposes, and others are just dispute-a-holics. Either way, to your health, I say! (Picture a glass of sparkling cider being raised here. I had to do something with all those apples, right?)